Thursday, February 18, 2010

Why Cant We Tell Our Body To Heal What Do You Think About My Poem?

What do you think about my poem? - why cant we tell our body to heal

Honest opinion please. If she sucks, blows and tell me why I can improve. Thank you.

Love can not be determined
with things as simple as the words
heals the soul, body and spirit
and free yourself for a bird walk

Time, love has the power to
to Repair Broken Minds and broken hearts
You can use the relations of the time
another person, a brand new start

And theres ...

I know that this love is forbidden
we must go separate ways
Our secret must remain hidden
We'll meet again one days

But the thrill
I can not let you go
I know this is wrong,
but I would like to know

I can not the pain
that can not be divided
i FeIve been killed in the
ripped a hole in my heart


and in case you're wondering, it was for my project in English.

3 comments:

I LOVE CHEVELLE!!! said...

It is quite good, but I think you need to configure so that it flows better. Probably should make sure that the rhyme is constant Thoughout the poem, and the need for perhaps the same number of syllables in each line, or any other line. If you do not get it, ignore it. I do not even know if I know what I mean.

Suhmanth... said...

r as well.

Monster said...

I think they were great!

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